America's Next Top Diplomat

Before reading this blog post, I humbly ask that you watch the video of Donald Trümp's Nevada caucus victory speech.  Keep a barf bag nearby, or pretend it's an SNL skit. Whatever gets you through it, but unlike republican caucus goers, remember not to vote (or raise your hand, or walk out the door with your unsubmitted voter registration .. or whatever it is people do at those things).

Here is the video.

Made it?  Ok. Kind of reminds me of a victory version of this:

If we can fast forward to a day in the future, when Trümp has had his fill of xenophobic followers cheering for him in arenas and has retired from politics (fingers crossed we see that day, and soon), maybe when our country has indeed become a better place (not the type of "great" place that keeps immigrants out with a wall), this is pretty fucking funny. This is great satire. It's all air: there's no shape to this speech, no indication that he's ever read a newspaper or that he's qualified to run a bingo match, let alone a whole country. Someone gave this man a microphone and he said "Vote for me! Trümp! And we'll have a great country - we'll win! Thanks voters! We're winning! Thanks immigrants; I hate you! And you voted for me anyway. Yay! Win! Win! Win!" and everyone cheered! They listened. They were captivated. His income is higher than most countries.

The Donald (not a person; a corporation, thus the ability to paralyze voters with his speech) has said that it's just interviewers who ask him questions about policy - voters don't care.  He is absolutely right. No one is looking to him for substance. They are just looking for a charismatic dad to tell them it's ok they hate Muslims - so does everyone else at the Trump rally! Maybe everybody everywhere! What a relief. So tiring, walking on eggshells about it. Yay! Winning!

I think we're in real danger here, both of taking Trümp far too seriously and of not taking him seriously enough. (As a candidate / as a threat to international diplomacy.) We give him substantially more air time than any other candidate. This is our fault - we're legitimizing him, his fans, his wealth, his fame, by giving him almost as much press as the Kardashians.




I did just say that. I said it.

But what's a more apt comparison? Does Kim K even speak? I've got no idea .. her lips could be glued together.  But it's impossible not to know her.  What does she do? No clue. Fame is now earned for nothing - why not the presidency? He won't play White House unsupervised.. the Kochs write all our legislation at this point, our petulant senate won't show up to work unless they get to oppose the black man on everything; they've made a mockery out of government.  So rises a mockery of a candidate. He's a caricature that breathes. He is yelling from a podium, with hamster hair, "My words mean nothing! You'll all just vote for me anyway!" And the crowd swells with relief! No one is going to ask them to understand politics. They don't even mind being called dumb. It's like a tailgate party.

Are we really doing this? Guys, this is real life, not reality TV. Or have they merged? can't keep track of who owns what.

Who could take this guy seriously? But we must. Laugh at home, put your brain in before entering a voting booth. He should not be where he is. This is far from ok.

People are sounding warnings here and there, but no one's really listening. Well, nobody but the Germans.