Xmas list - special election edition

Edit (around a year later): boy, this was (slightly) funny a year ago, when I thought this Golden Toilet President was a big mistake (keep reading) that was going to be rectified quickly .. I thought: this is what the electoral college is for!
Welp, evidently not ...

anyway, with that brief and meaningless disclaimer, I'm going to republish this "joke" of a post – Xmas gift ideas for the New Fuehrer, who doesn't read and possibly can't read – and leave the deep dives into the state of our democracy for some other time, or somebody else, so I can use this blog again the way god (=me) intended, for primarily my own amusement.

Here it is below, as initially posted:

Xmas gift ideas for Lord Dampnut:

Mein Kampf (his copy worn, no doubt)

Everyone Poops

Breitbart Headlines of the Year

Fifty Shades of White

OED (bookmarked to "drain" and "swamp" pages)

Big Book of Smut, Vol. 2

Guinness Book of World Records

Collected Crusader Front Pages

Lolita

Thirty American Billionaires

Thirty More American Billionaires: Debutantes of 2016

How to Encrust Your Toilet in Swarovski Crystals on a Budget

Starter Book on Male Supremacist Policy

When Despots Come to Dinner: Tales From an Unconventional White House

Voice Mail Manual, Chapter 3: How to Let a Call Go to Voicemail

Secret Swastikas in Everyday Items! A Craft Book

Bigger Hands in 30 Days

Playboy Centerfolds Collection: The Father / Daughter Issue

Social Media Etiquette Guide For Seniors

Who Moved My Cheese?

Tweet or Nuke? A Real Man's Guide to Decision Making in Government

Men Are From Mars, Women Are Just the Equivalent of Adam's Rib

Dapper Tailoring for the New Alt-Right Metrosexual

"Stop By if You're in the Area!" And Other So-called Gaffes From History's Greatest World Leaders

The Art of the Deal (oversize print version)

Pat the Bunny

Gilderoy Lockhart's Guide to Household Pests 

Slow Down Says Who? The Golf Pro's Guide to Sex After Seventy

Diplomacy for Dummies

Gerrymandering Workbook for the Modern GOP

Big Words Made Simpler: Eighth Grade Level Context & Comprehension

The Stranger